Friday, July 17, 2009

SPOILER : Harry Potter The Half Blood Prince

Unles you want to waste money and 2 hour plus of your time. Leave HPTHBP far away.

The movie goes for E - for Everyone instead of 18PL, because too much death scene will scare children, while reading them in books don't(and I thought Imagination are scarier)

The Death Eaters are not evil enough

There is no Voldemort

The KISSCENE sucks

There's no minor character story

Everything is on the big stars

Everything is boring

Draco the foul mouth boy is now a crybaby(pussy)

Hermonie like Ron

Harry like Ron's sister

Dumbledore kick-ass in a 30 second scene, and kiss-ass in the rest

Where is Voldemort?

First Harry is the Chosen One, then it was Draco, I was not properly brief on what the Chosen One is suppose to do anyway. In the end CO supose to kill Dumbledore? Or...wait, harry is the good chosen one and Draco is Voldemort's bitch, so which is which?

In Goblet of Fire Hogwart student do magic wand sparring, this year health and safety first. No such scene

Love potions are scary, as scary as the girl who makes it. Never EVER EVER make it.

Snape kills Dumbledore.

Wizards are useless if they don't have their wand. So next time if someone attack you, unhand their weapon and thou shalt be safe(r).

People kill each other with magic, instead of sharp/blunt object

Worst follow-up, period, in my mind.

OK, lets get to business, the last Harry Potter film(Goblet of Fire) ends with a handsome guy die, Harry sees his parent's ghosts and those kill by Voldemort, and the release of some Death Eaters call Bella, who in this movie happens to be Draco's aunt.

Now as far as I know, Death Eaters are Voldemort's bitches, they're pure evil. And the second thing Bela do in HPTHBP is.......destroy a bridge with 2 other Death Eater.(The first thing Bella did was kill Sirius Black)

Then somewhere near the middle of the film, they created a ring of fire surrounding the Weasley's windmill-ish home. They lure Harry and other more powerful wizard out, leaving Ron's mum at home, with Ron...(because Ron is probably in his room sulking when the whole thing happen). I was expecting typical kidnap mum and demand something, but no...them Death Eater fly throuht the windmillhousething and burn the house(or it burst into flame). And when the heroes return, mum and Ron are outside the house...looking at it...burning...

Then the plot to kill Dumbledore...turns out Draco was too pussy to kill Dumbledore, but have no fear. Severus Snape signed a unbreakable vow with Draco's mum to protect and finish whatever Draco was ask to do. So...Snape kill Dumbledore. And then there was peace...

Oh I forgot to mention, since the Death Eater are loose, Hogwarts employ a magic shield that prevent Death Eater from entering, and when they've breach Hogwart, al they do is help Draco kill Dumbledore, swing some security guard away, and burn down Hagrid's house. Not the brightest or ambitious bunch I'd say.

Oh wait, this movie is also about budding romances....since...inevitably, everyone needs to grow up. And growing up means fulfilling your basic biological purpose. There were plenty of kisscene(as I'd like to call it), and hugging, and slight blusing at the person they like.

For minor characters....Hagrid, the funny bone, doesn;t get much screen time. 2, if I recall. One, Hagrid's spidey pal died, then he get drunk. 2nd, when Dumbledore died.

The vice-headmistress, who's face probably say:" Damn them for shelving me and giving me so little screen time" is...exactly what I just said.

And a new character call Slughorn, who, as the film goes from boring to sleepy, was reveal as the person who tells Voldemort(or Tom Riddle) how to create a Horcrux, which will make him immortal. But, he cares too much about his reputation that he hides this from Dumbledore. Great, you have the evil-est wizard running amok and you don't think this information would have been of great help if discovered earlier?

Lemme tell you about the Horcrux, you kill someone(or yourself, never explain properly through film), then embed the soul into an object, so long as that object lives, you're immortal. Tom Riddle, being an evil little bastard, split his soul seven ways, thanks to Slughorn's info, who only tells the truth in the end when he too was loaded along with Hagrid(who was mourning the lost of a friend).

Even better, prior to movie's cimax. They found the location of the 3rd Horcrux, and the first obstacle they face is that they need to sacrifice something in order to gain passage. Was it slicing of penis? Killing innocent virgin girls, drink their blood? Kill your own friend? No. all you need to do is cut your palm, touch the stones...and the dor opens. Never thought of that.

Then Dumbledore kick-ass, he grab his wand and summon a cloud of fire to burn SMEAGOLS. You heard me SMEAGOL. Skinny hairless creature with bony figure that grabs Harry into the water. Trust me when I say this Dumbledore scene is worth RM10, if only its abit longer, and show more gory scene of SMEAGOL burn to death instead of running away.

And I have to say, this movie is TOO SAFE, Death Eaters are EVIL, they KILL PEOPLE, not destroy one small CGI bridge, burn a cottage house, and knock security guard off their leg after killing Dumbledore and set fire to Hagrid's house when he's not in it. What did Hagrid do to have his hut burn down anyway?

The KISSCENE are boring, the KILSCENE are boring, except the Dumbledore kick-ass part. And you thought old people are useless. Your perception will change after that one.

But it still doesn;t warrant a Rm12, or any money to watch it. If I had knew it was this bad, I wouldn't have go even if they begged me, give me free ticket, schedule a date with Emma, wait.

Anyway now you know. so don;t make my mistake. Go for ice Age, Public Enemies, or something, Transformer, if you're desperate to be bombard with bullshit.