My Fifth Crush

YAY, I finally got over the fugitive-dementia-whatever thing. So that means you all now can have a deeper peek into me love.

Back to the topic. She was a good friend. Yeah. And for her, all the things I said in my fourth crush article is even more out. Some say she's mean, evil, she's shorter than me, and when we come to the body fitness department, no. Which is quite the clue I've given you so that you all can now go hunt for the girl, asking: "Are you Yeak Hon's fifth crush", not that they know which number is assigned to them anyway. Which is why I took sympathy on you, and give you another clue.

We happen to like the same song. Suteki Da Ne by Rikki. It was a theme song for Final Fantasy X. And if you don't know Final Fantasy X, that means you never play it before on PS2, which also means you don't have PS2, and you're missing out one of the best form of entertainment.

Back to the song, she likes the orchestral version, and I like the normal version, which I'll embed below. On Saujana carnival Day, she dedicated the song to a friend(me of course), and I'm 2 step behind. We actually bet the day before regarding who'se gonna be the first to dedicate. Winner gets to gloat. Damn.

She actually offer to "redirect" people elsewhere so that I can confess to my fourth crush. Of course that time we're still friends. But then it didn't go well, and I'm left with a broken heart and she mended it. See, when you're good friend with a girl, and happens to impart some of your dark secret to her, you tend to rely on her. And then the whole "I like you secretly" begins. It too didn't go well, and it ended quite quickly.

Friendship usually took a downturn once you confess you love to someone. They don't want you to have the wrong idea. But thank goodness that didn't last long as well, soon we're back to I'm better than you fight. It did take awhile though.

As a tribute to FF-X, I'm probably Tidus, not in the hero sense, but the dreamer sense, and she lives in the real cruel world. There are times I don't understand alot of things and she would help me clear things up. So before I fade into the mist to prepare my sixth article. Here's Suteki Da Ne by Rikki.



Ah, sweet sweet memories

5 minutes, thats all it takes

Once a blue moon, a guy will met a girl he likes. Then guy will attempt to court her, get her attention, get together, go out together, spend time together.

And the they hold hands.

At that precise moment, a lot of chemical reaction happens.

The touch receptors senses another familiar shape, a hand.

The temperature receptor senses an icy cold hand.

The message is then compressed and send to the brain. Meanwhile the signal of happiness is jumping or skipping from nerve to nerve all the way to the brain. Oh, the joy, the happiness.

When it reaches the medula oblangate(back brain), it too got swayed, temporarily left the heartbeat per second uncheck. The message travels through the entire brain like a trail of electic storm, shocking and stimulating every single part. The brain the paused, which in real time is so quick you don't even notice.

Since the brain is temporarily unavailable, the heart thinks that oxygen must be lacking in the upper part of the head. So it speeds up, but it wasn't enough, they need bigger action, bigger pump action that is, to get the blood to where it should be. Then guy take a deep breathe, and the fresh cold air enters his lung. In there, the red blood cell just couldn't wait to grab the oxygen and go, like soldiers preparing for battle. After which, it is shot towards whichever the blood vessel ends.

First it end in leg. But the leg has no need for extra oxygen nor anything. Thus it sends a mesage to ask the brain to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, but since the brain is not working, and messages clash together, thus guy felt, actually guy can't feel his leg, but he can sense that his feet his probably red hot.

Then it reaches the hand. It was the same thing with leg, but too bad, Mr.Brain is too shock to process anything at the moment. Then the hand start glowing blood red, and temperature starts to rise. Hand then sends a fuzzy message, which DID got through, and that makes things even more interesting, and we haven't even got to how red the face is.

After the sudden paused, the THINK LOGICALLY DEPARTMENT wakes the brain up. Since all the emergency message is filling up the brain's tiny office hallway, the brain works like ant on fire, analyzing and dispatching orders as fast as possible. But then, all of a sudden, it realize he is holding another unknown entity's hand, unknown entity of opposite sex, whcih means there's a "I like you", "I love you" thing going on.

The brain act like what its owner would do, it just threw up all the paperwork, shouting like a maniac, doing weird dance while the paperworks fall down like snow. Then it start rolling in those paper, all the while shouting, happily

They didn't speak, they're looking at each other in the eye, smiling. Savouring the very moment. The train wizzed by sceneries, the people chat away, the train driver annoucement goes by, but all these don't concern both of them. They are having the time of their life. The guy is having the time of his life.

When he looked her in the eye, he can't help thinking of all the sweet things he can say to her. Her pretty face, her silky smooth hair, her lovely smile, her striking pink dress with matching pink shoe, her smooth hand, her icy palm warming up. He also can't help thinking about all the things he would do for her, to make her feel like the only special one. The One In A Billion. The Unreplacable. The One True Love.

But, 5 minutes is all they got, and when the sunlight once again enter the train, she hand slipped away from his, its like back to normal. Yet, all these happen so fast, that it haven't even have the time to be engraved into his memory. All thats left is the still warm palm, the numb feet, the beating heart of a racer, and the fizzy brain.

As they waved goodbye, guy just looked at her back, watching her every step and her every move, as the distance between them once again widen. He wanted to run up to her and hold her hand again, he wanted to kiss her, he wanted to do alot of things. But by doing all these things would probably mean they will never see each other again. Bittersweet is best used in this situation.

As her presense slowly slip away from his sight, and her shadows moving further, guy clench his left hand, trying desperately to preserve that magical moment when the love first bloom; when the sparks first fizzles; when the fireworks first bursts into thousand little pieces of shining lights, illuminating both of them. 

How he wish things would turn out for the better. But for the moment, he has taken a sip of the taste of victory. And so he steels himself, so that the next time when they met, he would go for it again, but this time, it's gonna be longer than the first time.

As the tape rewinds, the beautiful face, the smile, the feel of the hand, everything suddenly get sucked into a black hole, and the memory is preserved inside some tiny part in the brain, ready to be taken out the view at the pleasure of the memory preserver. 

Every second, Every minute, Every moment, Everything, is in perfect shape> It couldn't have been better.

And the magical 5 minutes belongs to me, and her.

My Fourth Crush

YAY, we're up to No.4 now.

Miss No.4 is a friend of Crush No.3(huhu), so its like the old saying:" If you can't hit on the girl you like, hit on her hot friends"Actually I made that myself.Obviously its not out of spite, revenge or any of that BS. When the wind of love blows, you just can't block it.

Some friend of mine say I must be mad. She's a librarian, she wear specs, she's got no 8 figure, she looks....boring. So to counter that:

She's a librarian = So? Whats wrong with that?
She wear specs and look boring = have you ever seen girl who looks boring at school, turns out very hot after they left school?
She's got no figure = None of my crushes so far is based on their figures

Which still holds true to every crush of mine, including the current crush, but thats for another day. To be honest I'm running out of things to say. Because if I am to describe how the love first bloom, or describe any of the girls, it would have been the same. Every single one, which means you'll go away without reading further.

Anyway, I did manage dedicate a song to her. Its a Chinese song(again), and for the first time, a girl did re-dedicate a song for me. I was feeling good about things to come, extremely happy. Like hitting a jackpot, or getting laid.

But that song I dedicate is a breakup song(I think), guess I now know why I failed. It ended with a very perculiar way, but then I guess I'd better keep it to myself. If any of you wanan know more just give me a call, or ask me when you meet me anywhere. But you have to pop the golden question: "What happened between you and your fourth crush?"

Her song for me   <金莎- 笨蛋（feat.林俊杰)>

My song for her    <周杰倫：一路向北>

Btw, 一路向北 is one of my most most most favourite song. Love it, never got bored of it, and 笨蛋 remind me of all the memories, like Blu-Ray High Def movie...imagine watching the entire journey..........

Yeak Hon out.

My Third Crush

There's a reason this one is abit late, because I forgot which girl goes third...

Anyway, remember my second crush is now(back then) living happily ever after? So I go back to doing what I do best, Scout marching. The best in the business.

She happens to be one of my mate's classmate. And she has this slightly squeky voice output, no idea why is that.

Anyway this one will be short because...I don't recall dedicating any song for her, weird.

I do remember this though, theres one time she's being bullied by some guy, which took her hair clip, and both of them are chasing each other in a circle, and from nowhere I go in and say "Give that thing back to her", which means I join the merry-go-round game as well.

It was so obvious that I like her. And that little merry go round act also shows that me:
Who is a 15 years old guy/boy
Who is a Prefect
Who is one of Scout's most revered member

is a (for this part you can just leave comment down there, best one wins mystery gift from your's truly, so be sure to spread this post/blog to your friends)

Oh dear, the memory is haunting me again. Nien, Go Away.

Since theres no music to entertain you all this time. I'm gonna just....leave it here...don't bite please.

My Second Crush

Time flies, so does love. This time around its Form 2. Now a full prefect, damn I looked good in the mirror. But I've decided another path to walk, to be the prefect that everyone loves, not the strict I-Know-all kind of prefect, met some of those, didn't like it back then, not going to like them now.

Then of course, when you're a prefect automatically you're part of an elite club in school, which means you get access to more pretty girl. That means its abit of a challenge to focus on academic and prefect duty.

And that particular pretty girl isn't so pretty according to many, they forgot about "beauty in the eye of beholder", to me she's everything. A prefect, good looking, smart, and surrounded by mysteries. This is the time when boy like me would do stupid, weird things that we though would impress girl and win her home.

Sadly, no.

I never really pop the golden question, for 2 years. Then she's with someone. And the funny thing is, I didn't feel one bit devastated. My friends are like: "Something wrong with you? The girl you secretly like for 2 years just hook up with someone else and you're not one bit sad?" Its true, I have no idea why that happened. Perhaps its just like what Hong Kong drama said:" If you love someone you want him/her to be happy." Of course there are times I wish I can switch soul or person. To feel happiness of being in love.

One day one of my closest friend say rumours are spreading that I like her because she's rich. What? I didn't know that. Being misundersttod is worst than seeing her with another person. At that precise moment I wish I can get all those assumption fuck and slap them hard in the face. These are the people who have too much spare time and decided that their brain is actually located far down the shit hole.

Anyway thats that. Now finally after so long I manage to channel my anger away, I feel so much better, and of course partly its down to that song I dedicated to her.

Whenever I listen to that particular song, all my memories of Form 2, Her, Scouts would play in my mind. Every little detail has been engraved into my small little brain. Thats probably why I never do good academically. Because I'm a tape recorder of my own life.

And that song is a Hong Kong drama's theme song. Same as ever, a poor movie containing the song. Enjoy

My First Love

It seems that I ran out of intelligent things to write, so here's another confession entry. For Fun

When I'm on duty(which isn't much of a job really), I tend to recount my journey from Form 1 till Form 5, after all thats the time where memories of shame, humiliation, defeat, sheer lunacy is abundant of. And also friendship, loyalty, and glory. (Those of you who know me close enough know what I'm talking about, for those who don't, well, tough luck)

Lets rewind time back to Form 1. When I lok back at my class photo I can't help but laugh at myself. When everyone is wearing long pants I'm still the one with shorts baby.

Then of course there's the girl I like. People don't see much in her, outside, and probably inside. But then some random voodoo magic drawn me towards her. I even got close to her. So close that I don't know what to do. When we're both alone. Chance just slip away like that. Snap.

And please be dissapointed because there ain't gona be names here. Even if you guessed right there won't be a prize for you.

I picked one of my favourite song and dedicated it to her. I would practise singing it day and night. For no reason. The poor tape unfortunately has outlived its life 3 years ago. But nonetheless, it has served me and my memories well.

And that song would be I'm gonna be Around, by Michael Learns to Rock.
And the video is poorly concieved, because I just want the music.

Valentine Special, What is Love? A confession, An observation

Valentine's Day, where couple spend lots of money for flower, dinner, and the lots. Lucky me I don't have a partner/companion/girlfriend. So I attended a close relative's wedding registration.

And while you read my ranting blog entry, you can listen to some music I put up. I know I have bad taste. But they're nice =)

When does love exist? 

Does it exist since the beginning to humankind? I don't think so, take animal kingdom for example, mammals to be exact.

How do you describe the love of parents towards their unborn child? What about after they're born? Lets not even go into the sacrifice and expenses they give and support the child. Sometimes we can even find news like parents sacrificing their live for their children. Even Harry Potter's story begins with a lil bit of mummy-dying-for-son. The power of love

When I look at a child, I can't help to think that I was once like them, the inocence, how I would yearn for parent's hugs and kisses, how I'd do anything they ask for with no question, yet it took me so long to think about it. What am I thinking at that stage, obviously there's no mind log to keep records of everything but it fascinates me. Does fulfilling my parent's request put me into their good book? If I be good then I will be rewarded? Its so mind boggling.

Then as I grew, I shy away from them. Before we would hug and kiss them in public, and then we got shy, for no apparent reason. Is it because I would be viewed as "manja" at that age? Is it because my peers don't do it anymore? Between that period what went wrong?

Next was the rebellion period. Before, I would follow everything our parents said, and then in a sudden moment, I decided that we actually have the freaking balls to rebel and disrupt the order of things. Where did that came from, it happen so fast my parents aren't even ready yet. Its like hurling a brick at a glass windows, things get shattered. Yet parents will always stood up for you when you're down, even if the words I spoke is sharper than sword.

Then puppy love came. Lets recount how many crush I have. First was Form 1, and then Form 2, and then Form 4, and then Form 5, and then after SPM, and now. So thats 5, or maybe I mis counted something somewhere. Nevermind. I can safely say this because I'm still single, or double, I don't know. But the good news is if you think I'm attractive you know where to say it. The chemistry is so complex, why do I like the girl, I have no idea. Is she pretty? Yes. Well its not much of a choice anyway, would you say she's not pretty when you like her.

Which reminds me: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

Then its time to get married. Boyfriend and girlfriend become husband and wife. Is it necesary to get married after you've been dating each other for some years(some happen in months)? And how to you decide if she's The One?

Because she's filial to her parents and yours? 

Because she's a good girl type, so she would manage your family well so that you can focus being the breadwinner?

Because she knows the way to your stomach?

Because when you look her in the eye after a tired day you would feel relieve?

OR

Because she's sassy, pretty, and hot.

Because she knows how to carry herself(Dress up to become hot)

Because she's good at bed? (I'm reluctant to put this, but sometimes this is true)

Because she's from rich family?

Because being with her means that you're the envy of every man?

At the wedding, the parents cried(girl side). Is it tears of happiness? That they've taugh their daughter well, that she'll finally be able to attain happines with new family? Or is it tears of sadness, that the 10-20-30 years or so of their daughter's companion is going to end when she went of with another men to start a new life.

The baby come along, then two, then three. This is the part where it gets exciting. Baby is so much blessing, and so much trouble. Then the couple will experience firsthand how is it to raise a child. Watching their child grow from day to day, experience the joy and pain with them. Then seeing them going through the exact same path of growing up, worry about them as your parents have done before you. 

As a parent, we/you/I would worry about alot of things:

Are they getting bullied?

Are they safe?

Are they having a good meal?

Are they hot?

Are they cold?

Are they naughty?

Are they learning how to smoke, drink?

Are they doing drug?

Are they doing illegal things

Who are they going out with

Is their friend trustworthy

Are they mingling with shady people?

Things that we find extremely annoying suddenly became an everyday chores. The same pressure that we live through now goes to our children. We may have promise ourself that the future generation would not be subjected to such treatment, but can you keep that promise?

Then its time for the children to pursue a new family. Are we happy that he/she is finally getting married. Or are we sad(for girl side) that she's going away. In fact we didn't stop worrying, we worry even more. Till the day our time in this world is up.

But love is still around, its like a family treasure passing down from generation to generation.

Another interesting fact is cross culture marriage. There's always so much tradition and culture shock to go through. Why do I need to convert to Islam if I marry a Malay girl in Malaysia. Why this, why that, why so many things to consider?

Why do we have war? Because of differing religion? Because of differing ideology? Because of jealousy? Because of racial discrimination? Because of selfishness? 

This is probably the bravest thing I've said in my entire life: " Screw religion, screw believes, screw ideology, screw racial identity, screw currency. You want world unity, you throw these thing of. They are the primary blockade for world peace and understanding. So whoever say we can have peace without getting pass all the above things I've said, please, Go. Fuck. Yourself. 

All we need is a little bit of love, and thats it. Why make things complicated. Solve it the simplest way. No scheming, no planning. Just get in love, Get married, Grow old together. Live your life to the fullest.

Happy 2009 Valentine's Day ladies and gentleman.

Chang Yeak Hon

Writing this so that I would not have any regrets.

p/s: Girls if you find me attractive and wanna hook up, just get in touch. =P